My Inner Larry King

Larry King used to write a column for USA Today where he would share random thoughts.  Now it’s on Twitter, but I’ve never seen it.  I never watched his show when it was on, but I liked how he could just sit down and write such randomness for the newspaper.  I too have many thoughts that pop into my head, with many of those thoughts turned into a Facebook status update.  Today, I’d like to share with you my random thoughts Larry King style:

1.  I have entirely too many plastic cards in my wallet.  I have everything from credit cards to library cards to shopper loyalty cards.  The only two I need are the Kroger Plus card and the 5/3 debit card.  I’m one sub away from a free one at Jersey Mike’s, so I’ll keep that one too.

2.  There’s not much worse than using a bathroom away from home, only to find out it’s broken and won’t flush!  That’s a walk of shame if there ever was one.

3.  Is there a better band than Radiohead?  No band has put out such consistently good music that the masses don’t really understand, and where the band itself doesn’t really care if they do.

4.  The internet consists of countless websites but I still go to only a handful of them every day.  I always use Facebook, Yahoo e-mail, and dailywhat.com for comedy.  If there’s anything else I want, I Google it.

5.  Suspenders on suits make a man look like a man.  Suspenders on jeans make a man look like a farmer.

6. I wonder if there’s a doctor willing to put me in a coma for 12 hours so I can get a decent night’s sleep.

7. The NFL on CBS is sponsored by Miller Lite and Viagra. Did they ever stop to think that if you didn’t use the first product, you wouldn’t need the second?

8. Knowing that today is the first day of the rest of my life, while knowing that tomorrow is also the first day of the rest of my life does nothing to help me with my procrastination problem.

9. You know how it feels when you’re watching a TV show or movie and you see an actor you can’t quite name and you sit there trying to figure out what other TV show or movie you’ve seen them in? I feel that way when I can’t remember the name of the person in front of me.

10. Being funny is easy. Writing funny is hard!

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3 Responses to My Inner Larry King

  1. Sibling #2 says:

    #6 Michael Jackson tried that!

    Like

  2. Sibling #2 says:

    #8 I have a friend who always says, “Today may be the last day of my life.” I find that helps a bit with procrastination. It also gives me more reasons to put things off just in case I’ll have to leave it for someone else to do in case it is my last day!

    Like

  3. Loretta says:

    Catching up on back blog posts – this is hilarious!!!

    Like

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